How to let someone know they hurt you without making the situation worse


When someone hurts you, your instinct is to hurt them back so they will know how it feels. However, this does not solve anything because a cycle of hurt begins. Besides, it is also possible that the person did it unknowingly.
Do you now let it go without saying anything? No. There are ways of handling it without making it worse.
1. Focus on the offense alone
Look at the wrongdoing for what it is and don’t try to connect it to something in the past or give possible explanations for the behaviour because you might be wrong. Also, based on your understanding of the person, ask yourself if it was intentional. It will influence your response.
2. Don’t be defensive
Don’t try to play the victim card. Simply state what happened, how it affected you and why you would not want it to repeat itself.
3. Apologize
Yes, you are the one who was offended but it is possible that you played a role in the way things degenerated. You may have done or said something that elicited the offense so own it and apologize.
4. Choose your words
If tempers are already flaring then careless words may be incendiary. Use non-aggressive words that communicate how you feel.
5. Be prepared for possible outcomes
You have done your part but you can never be certain what the person’s response would be. He/she may apologize, get defensive or outrightly disregard you. Steel yourself for whatever comes.
6. Set boundaries
If you sense that it might happen again or the person is rude, set personal limits of how you will relate with that person. It is not about keeping malice but know how much you should open up to that person to avoid getting hurt.
I believe that tactful conflict resolution is key to preserving all kinds of relationships. Try it today.

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